My strange name

By Sanam Ghandehari

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"Sometimes, I experience a strange feeling when I hear my name or repeat it in my mind. It’s as if I’m hearing it for the first time, and the word feels completely unfamiliar to me. For a few seconds, I focus on how strange it sounds, horrified by the thought of losing my connection to it and not recognizing it as mine. But then, reality rushes back, and I remember that I’ve lived with this name my whole life. The sense of ownership returns, as if it had never left." 

Not long after writing this note in my journal, I learned that this experience has a name. It is described as alienation, existential estrangement, and more. Even more surprisingly, in existential philosophy, it is considered a fundamental mood that reveals something profound  about our being. How had I never heard of this? Why had no one ever discussed it? And why, after experiencing this sudden jolt out of my everyday familiarity, did I instinctively try to push  myself back into "normal life" — even feeling as if I should see a neurologist?  

Heidegger calls this feeling Angst (anxiety) — but not in the everyday sense of fear tied to a specific object. Instead, Angst is a deep existential state that exposes our nothingness. The moment you feel disconnected from something that was always familiar is the moment you glimpse the truth of your own existential void. Is that exciting? You might think not — it sounds depressing. But from an existentialist perspective, it is actually the beginning of something crucial: the realization of your absolute freedom. There is nothing predetermined, and you are entirely free to define and create meaning. 

Sartre calls this experience Nausea or Anguish — the moment you become aware of your radical freedom and the overwhelming responsibility that comes with it.  

So, the next time you have that strange sensation — the moment when a familiar object or concept suddenly feels unfamiliar — don’t suppress it. Treasure it. Reflect on it. You are brushing against a fundamental theme in existentialist philosophy.

Sanam is a philosophy enthusiast and an immigration attorney by day, delving into philosophy books after hours. Born and raised in Tehran, she loves exploring the connections between classical Persian poetry and Western philosophy.